Sunday, June 6, 2010

All I Need

Tired. Worked today. Tomorrow off, should be nice to sleep in.

I have been thinking a lot about Alaska. I don't need college right now. Nature can be my teacher. Plenty of books to read while out there also.

Climbing, hiking, backpacking, traveling, exploring, living.

These days I feel as though I am dying, not living. I am not taking full advantage of my soul, of my body and mind. I am trapped inside of a box, one like all the others on my block, and I need to get out. Get away and resuscitate what is left of my soul. It has been a long time since something excited me, since I woke up in the morning excited for the day. It used to happen so often as a child, but now I can barely remember how it felt to have trouble containing my excitement. I have learned now that most things just let you down- save yourself the trouble and don't even feel the joy.

I guess it doesn't help that I work at an outdoor store. All I can think about is getting away, escaping into the mountains and leaving this box.

I want to leave and if I had the resources or knowledge I would leave now. But I guess I need a plan. A goal.

All I need is a really good idea.

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